if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
