You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
