dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
