Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
