I need help removing her.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
