it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
