I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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