YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
