i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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