Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
