There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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