You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
