The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
