Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
