halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
