dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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