I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
