I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
did you just send me my own nude
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
