Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
