Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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