Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
