we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
love makes seman taste better
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
