I want to have your abortion
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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