this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
