uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
