They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
