he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
