i would punch a child for taco bell
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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