so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
