worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
