my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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