just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
