What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
