used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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