Your face is a jimmy john
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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