I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I wish you could order shots online.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
