I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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