If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
is that a dick in a sweater?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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