with your own penis?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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