Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
