I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
