you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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