i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
