I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
