and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
