i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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