I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
