I can't watch pbs sober anymore
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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