I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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