My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
