I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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