worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
