I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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