he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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