Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
