You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
