that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
