Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
should my penis look like a turkey
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
