they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she looked like the before picture.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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