its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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