just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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