I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize