census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
